Life was perfect...

Being jobless and too lazy to start job hunting, I had all the time in the world to pack the ever untidy room of mine. For once, I managed to throw a large bag of not-so-useful and will-never-be-used stuff which I had been keeping for years. Still, I know that if I could bring myself to, I could actually throw at least another 5 bags of stuff which I really won't remember about until the next time I start another spring cleaning. But, it is always difficult to throw away things which did once meant something to me.

Spring cleaning never fails to regenerate things which I had long lost and forgotten, and looking at those things really bring back sweet memories of the past - like my autograph book, the love letters, the countless necklaces and chokers, the keychains, the CDs, and yes, the NEOPRINTS! I have like a gazillion of them lahz!!! But looking at them now really helped me relived the happy times I used to share with my friends, some of whom I have drifted apart from, and some of whom I have grown closer too.

It is amazing how in secondary school we were sooo carefree that we prayed for rain so we could play in the rain, or we would write diaries and exchange with one another, or how we would take neoprints with "we have married" and "call me" frames. But I miss those days.... when homework was minimal.. or at least we could all do it together at Macs or at someone's place, when my friends had to always let me copy their Ting Xie (chinese spelling) cause my chinese reli sucked, when the discipline mistress would come after me and start finding all kinds of fault with me. And of course I miss those courtship days... when guys do crazy stuff, write sweet and corny notes, showered gifts and attention.. yes, so much to reminiscence about my secondary school days....

When I was 15, I thought my life was close to perfect- my dad's business was doing well, i was coping well with school work, i had great friends, boys were after me, and apart from still being short, i had flawless and pimpleless complexion while everyone else had outbreaks then! Perhaps it is because I had such a blessed 'teenagehood' (yes, and childhood too) that I always thought that the world is such a beautiful place, and that Man is generally good... and so I have often remained optimistic and positive in my life, whether or not it is for the better.

It is sad however, that I no longer feel this way.. now i feel that my life is far from perfect..... i dunno if it is the increasing expectations I have of what a happy life is, or is it because I've grown up and have become less naive and have a different perspective in life, or is God just trying to be fair by taking back what He has given me? But come to think of it, what is so imperfect about my life? -my Beloved is great, i have good friends, my family is fine, and i am enjoying my life. Just that I am jobless and no one wants to hire me. =(

Yes, the depressed me is acting up again. And apart from Daddy, no one is supportive of me taking my time to find a job. What's with the rush man???? And what is the point of rushing when no one actually wants to hire me???

Haikz.